Gary Alan Hidalgo

Kamusta, fabulous, irrepressible family,

I posted a video in case you haven’t been updated. Talk about post-2015 marriage equality deja vu. You can find out a specific WHO that’s decided to challenge same sex marriage, although many conservative groups have been waiting in the wings. After all, they repealed abortion, gay marriage was sure to be next. Still, what a gut punch if we were to see ten years of progress erased. The good news is it’s a big “if.” In 2022, President Joe Biden thankfully signed the Respect for Marriage Act, which required bipartisan support for Congress to pass. Essentially, all states must recognize same-sex and interracial marriages. FULL STOP!

Nevertheless, we should still get angry. FULL STOP AGAIN! I rarely use all caps and exclamation points, but I make an exception this time. Our fears remain valid. Despite the assurances, reading the news and seeing “Same-Sex Marriage” in any headlines is like waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when it’s sometimes good news. Am I getting married? Have I found “the one?” Not even close, nor is it even a path I’d choose, like my The Hotel Cairo character, Happy Holden, 70, when he met “the one” in the mid-90s. It wasn’t a thought that crossed his mind then or post-2015, but if straight Americans can enjoy (or, in new gay-divorcee, Hughie Roman’s opinion, suffer) then ALL Americans have the right! The way he feels about the institution, it’s a wonder the book ends the way it does, not just for Hughie and Fabian but for the whole hotel’s “Love is Welcome” motto. 

After the waves of true anger and sadness that some folks still don’t get it passes, accept they’ll never learn the moral of the story. #LoveWins was a hashtag we all used to celebrate the historic Obergefell decision. I even used it to congratulate every country that celebrated marriage equality itself. Others have used it for weddings, anniversaries, and other moments of queer joy. It was never about the law. It was never about the certificate (click the WHO link above to see how it’s deja vu). It’s the promise that, plain and simple, love wins. Period.

“We should celebrate.” Before he opened his mouth, Happy brought out a tray with three champagne glasses overflowing with celebratory bubbly. He handed them each a glass. “Since you’re the best man, offer a toast to James and Fabian.”
“What words of wisdom will you share, Mr. Best Man?” James asked.
“To James and Fabian,” he said, raising his glass, “true love always wins.”

This tiny tidbit for today from The Hotel Cairo is from Chapter 21. “True Love Always Wins”. It’s that meaningful to the chapter and the novel. Without more spoilers, you’re down and out for the count in every way. When you say it with a smile (the champagne helps). For someone as drama-prone as our soap actor protagonist, to leave it at that, is so telling. So epic. So scary.

It goes for the threat against the LGBTQ+ community at the moment and in the future. #LoveWins is so telling, so epic, and so scary. Because even before same-sex marriage became an option, we already promised to love and find happiness in our hearts, homes, and communities. That’s not to minimize the monumental stride in queer rights that was Obergefell v. Hodges. And we will fight defiantly like always. The moral–I use the word purposefully–the haters have missed out on since 2015 is love wins because it won’t stop love.

In a climate where the haters want to break our hearts, fear for the worst, and hide, we stay strong, visible, and LOVE & LAUGH! Choosing how we feel is a revolutionary act. I’ve done enough queer history deep dives to know, emotional and spiritual resistance is powerful, even political. 

When the government stayed silent about gay and bisexual Americans fighting for their lives at the height of the AIDS epidemic in 1990, ACT UP ( AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power)’s straightforward motto: “Silence = Death” made politicians act and the world listen. So we keep our big hearts, sense of humor, and now, the power of social media in our back pockets until we need to do more than hope for the best. We have that too. Per my greeting, the queer community is a fabulous, irrepressible family!

They can take the paper. They can’t take the promise.

Our Love & Laughter Will Be Our Strength

• Share Your Story: In the comments, tell us about a moment of queer joy or love that has given you strength. Let’s fill this space with our light.
• Find a Sanctuary: If you need a hopeful escape, the doors to The Hotel Cairo are always open. Find a world where love is the ultimate law. Available on Amazon.
• Stay Connected: In the coming days and weeks, we will need each other more than ever. Sign up for my Love & Laughter Newsletter to stay connected with our community.
• Join the Conversation: Let’s continue to support each other on Facebook, Instagram, and Bluesky.

We’ve weathered storms before, my sweeties. We will weather this one. We will do it together, with boldness, with hope, and with so much Love & Laughter.

“I LOVE YOU!!!” he said to no one in particular. (Exception done)

Gary Alan Hidalgo